We just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for your words, your thoughts, your prayers. Thank you for wrapping us up in your comfort and trying as best you can to ease our pain.
Tonight was the first night in 7 months that we didn’t get to kiss our baby goodnight and lay him down to sleep. Our house was so quiet, and I still felt the need to be silent as if not to wake the baby boy that will never lay in that crib again.
This time is dark for us and it will be a long while before we claw ourselves out of this hell we are in. I feel like I’m in this delicate dance between this world and his. A dance I don’t want to end, but then I’m brought back to reality where I’m needed by another child. It isn’t fair. My spirit is forever connected to his. I know I’ll find him in everything I do. I know that connection will keep us afloat when the waves of grief try to drown us.
Sloan was our rainbow baby, born after two miscarriages and fertility treatments. He was our warrior baby, true to his name. Death took his body away but it can’t ever take his spirit. It won’t ever be right, because he should here. We should be getting to watch him grow up. It isn’t fair that the world keeps going when we want it to stop. The things you are all doing for our family are amazing and we cannot express enough gratitude, thank you.