I know I haven’t written in several weeks, and I don’t really have a reason. I just hadn’t felt compelled to outwardly express my grief journey lately. It’s been almost 4 months since I last held my baby. Feeling the gravity of that fact is too much, and expressing it means I have no choice but to feel it. Many bereaved parents go through this. These brief periods of sealing up our emotions as if it’s protecting us from the pain for even just a few moments. And yet, the agony has not stopped. The waves still crash down, and the current still carries us with it. Now, staying above the surface is about navigating the space between it hurting because it’s been so long, and it being more bearable because it’s been so long. Somehow, neither of those feels good to embrace.