Oh Christmas Tree

I cried while I put up our tree this year. Two years ago at this time I was a week away from going into labor with Sloan. The holiday season was so filled with joy and excitement over our new little guy. Now his birthday is “He would be ____ years old this year” and “How should we honor his birthday without him this year?”

Christmas means putting up a stocking that he won’t rummage through, and that missing spot next to the tree where he should be opening gifts. This is a season of angst for me, despite its celebrations and reasons to be thankful. The addition of Phoenix should help, I know her being here is not only an extension of him, but a blessing of her own joy upon us. There’s still just such an emptiness where he should be.

Ornament from @justbeeco