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Goodbye Uterus, it’s Surgery Day!

*Vaginal hysterectomy with tube removal, POP repair, and perineal reconstruction*

I had my surgery, and it was quite an ordeal. Because of the pandemic, I was not allowed to have anyone in pre-op or recovery, and waiting rooms are closed. My mom and Justin dropped me off at the curb and waited nearby.

My pre-op nurse was wonderful. Her name was Kim, like my mom, which was comforting. I broke down in tears pretty quickly when asked how I was feeling about having the surgery. I explained to her that losing my uterus held a lot of grief and heaviness for me due to the loss of one of my children. She asked me many questions about Sloan, grief, and life after loss. She was so genuine and compassionate, I felt such calmness and peace in her presence, despite how anxious I had been before.

At some point my anesthesiologist came in and spoke with me about what to expect, and already knowing about my anxiety and ptsd surrounding Sloan, ordered a dose of Xanax for me to help ease my fraying nerves.

After about an hour and a half, I was walked back to the OR, and helped onto the table. My anesthesiologist held my hand and spoke affirmations to me as I was put under.

Surgery was supposed to be around 2 hours, but ended up being just under 5 hours. This was because I bled out towards the “end” of the process, losing nearly 1000ml of blood and narrowly missing the need for a transfusion. Once in recovery, they were unable to wake me for over 3 hours. This was extremely scary for my mom and Justin, who had been called and informed while they waited in the parking garage, and my mom said Justin had a bit of a breakdown over it.

Generally, I feel like I was hit by a train. Everything hurts immensely. I did not expect this level of pain and have really been struggling. Because this is me we’re talking about, it wouldn’t make sense if something didn’t happen that was totally unexpected and crazy. Like my cornea having been scratched during the process of my eyes being taped shut. I have a lovely eye patch as an accessory for the next few days, and it’s not better by wednesday I have to go to an ophthalmologist.

I’ll have symptoms of anemia from the blood loss for quite a while, which so far includes dizziness, light headedness, blurred vision, heart palpitations, brain fog, exhaustion, severe bruising, and tunnel vision. I will get my folley out on Thursday or Friday, and we should have pathology results on my uterus, cervix, and tubes by next week.

My recovery is said to be 6-8 weeks for pain and healing, and 3+ months before I’ll feel “totally normal again”.

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