Day 5 Post-op from Vaginal Hysterectomy with tube removal, POP repair, and perineal muscle reconstruction.
Yesterday we received the pathology results of my uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes. Suddenly, the myriad of symptoms that for much of my life felt overwhelming and consuming, and yet, written off time and again… had actual names, an actual cause.
Adenomyosis and Pelvic Congestion Syndrome.
My. Entire. Life. Makes. Sense.
This surgery was a battle. I bled out on the table, it took more than 3 hours to wake me from anesthesia. And then the pain from surgery was so great in the first few days, that I questioned why I did this and whether it had been the right decision. None of this is even grazing the surface on the emotional significance of a hysterectomy after the loss of a child.
All of this, wrapped up in the glistening, enlarged, poisonous significance that was my reproductive organs. The pathology results gave me such clarity, the weight of decades of struggle and sickness lifted, decades of surviving in a body that was destroying and destructing itself from the inside out. I will no longer be chronically ill, chronically in pain.
Now, I am free.