It’s been 20 days since my hysterectomy, and finally, the grief over losing the womb that grew and birthed my 4 beautiful babies, has begun to settle in. There’s a creeping, slow, but definite emotional pain.
A hysterectomy means undergoing a post-op healing process that entails far more than physical recovery alone. There’s thousands of forums online where women discuss the grief that follows a hysterectomy. Discussion of the feelings of inadequacy, of feeling like less of a woman, of closing, or in some cases, never opening, the chapter of creating new life. There’s not one I’ve found, discussing the grief that comes with a hysterectomy after child loss.
I am not only mourning the loss of a piece of me, I’m mourning the loss of a piece of me in which my dead child once lived. It’s a heavy, lonely weight to shoulder.