I made myself small on the day my son died. As I cradled his stillness in my arms, rocking him rhythmically out of habit. While hours passed, feeling both like an eternity, and the blink of an eye. I knew … Continue Reading What Fear Took From Me
See that counter top? It’s where my 7 month old sons lifeless body lay, as my husband performed CPR. While … Continue Reading Home of the Past
It’s been 6 weeks since my hysterectomy with POP repair and perineal reconstruction. The initial few weeks were absolute hell and I questioned constantly, why I put myself through it. The pain was absolutely unreal, and I was in no … Continue Reading 6 Weeks Post-op
It’s been 20 days since my hysterectomy, and finally, the grief over losing the womb that grew and birthed my … Continue Reading 20 Days Post-Op
Sloan has been sending signs lately. His wind chime in the back garden has been rhythmically chiming as if intentional, with little to no breeze. Deers have visited daily on the hillside behind the house, frolicking about as the kids … Continue Reading Signs from Sloan
Day 5 Post-op from Vaginal Hysterectomy with tube removal, POP repair, and perineal muscle reconstruction. Yesterday we received the pathology … Continue Reading Pathology Results: Adenomyosis & PCS
*Vaginal hysterectomy with tube removal, POP repair, and perineal reconstruction* I had my surgery, and it was quite an ordeal. … Continue Reading Goodbye Uterus, it’s Surgery Day!
I’m human, and sometimes words hurt. But it’s so frustrating that the thoughtless words of some stranger on the internet … Continue Reading I Don’t Have to be Grateful
-Each year, there are about 3,500 sudden unexpected infant deaths (SUID) in the United States. These deaths occur among infants less … Continue Reading What We Learned From Losing a Child to SIDS
Today is National Grief Awareness Day. Grief is not a single day. It is every day. For the grieving, it … Continue Reading Grief is Every Day
My sons ashes aren’t in an urn. He sits on my dresser, inside the bag with a charred metal tag, … Continue Reading A Plastic Box
July is Bereaved Parents month.When you first lose your child, everyone is profoundly impacted by your tragedy. Everyone mourns your … Continue Reading Bereaved Parents Month
3 years. 1,096 days. That’s how long it’s been since my arms last felt the weight of your body. Since … Continue Reading Sloan’s 3rd Annual Memorial
On your last night, I bathed you. You had two favorite places, my arms, and water. Bath time was sheer … Continue Reading Bath Time & Bereavement
A week from today, will be 3 entire years since Sloan left his earthly body. When he died, the subject of child loss and bereavement was still very little discussed. Watching grief and the experiences of bereaved parents begin to … Continue Reading Approaching 3 Years
Every June, I get a little trapped in my grief. June was the last full month of Sloan’s life. I … Continue Reading June
