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Category: Grief & Loss

Day 3

My grief is handled in words. I was the one who found Sloan. I went in to get him from his crib at 9:48am, opened the door and noticed he was on his stomach. I touched his back and felt … Continue Reading Day 3

Dragonflies

He chose dragonflies. I sit in the yard at my parents house for hours. I feel Sloan in the breeze, I think of him as I watch the leaves rustle and shimmer. Yesterday, as I sat there, a small red … Continue Reading Dragonflies

It’s Not Home

We will not be returning to our home. We packed some bags Monday night, grabbed our dogs, and went to my parents down the road. Our hearts cannot bear to pass his room each day, knowing what happened inside it. … Continue Reading It’s Not Home

Night

Night number two without him. For only the second time since his birth, I did not get to kiss my baby goodnight and lay him down. I did not get to sing him the teddy song he so loved. I … Continue Reading Night

Sloan’s Light

#sloanslight It is the 4th of July. What was formerly my favorite holiday is now simply “the day after”. How does the world keep spinning on, when it feels as if it has come crashing down. Sleep has not yet … Continue Reading Sloan’s Light

The Battle

Next week it will have been two years since we lost our second baby and last week marked 4 months since we lost our 3rd baby. It feels like ages ago, and like yesterday. While dealing with loss, the grief … Continue Reading The Battle

Surfacing Grief

For some reason, the loss of our pregnancy has really hit me tonight. Maybe it’s seeing Rowan experience firsts I will never get to witness that baby attempt, or seeing so many others post about their budding pregnancies or the … Continue Reading Surfacing Grief

Try, Try Again

This week has been extremely stressful. I’m heartbroken to say we are experiencing the loss of who would have been our rainbow baby. We lost a pregnancy last year so we knew that loss was a possibility. We didn’t want … Continue Reading Try, Try Again